There wasn't "mush-room." Much-room. Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was trying to find Pooh. How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? Turn it upside down. Three gay men died. The day after, their husbands were discussing how great they were. "I loved my husband," the first man said. "He always loved to go fishing. When he's cremated, I'm going to spread his ashes in our favorite pond. "I loved my husband too," the second man said. "He liked to go skiing. When he's cremated I'm going to spread his ashes over our favorite slope." "I loved my husband as well," the third man said. "He was such a good lover. When he's cremated, I'm going to spread his ashes in my chili, so then when I eat the chili, he can tear my *** up one more time. One day, during a CCD class, the priest was worried that his students didn't know a lot about Jesus. So he asks the class, "Children, where is Jesus today?" One girl raised her hand and replied, "He's in my heart." One boy raised his hand and said, "He's in Heaven." Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "He's in my bathroom." The priest was quite confused at Little Johnny's answer. "Why do you say that, LIttle Johnny?" "Because every morning my daddy wakes up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells: JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU STILL IN THERE!" CHILD: Dad, where do I come from? DAD: Okay, I'll tell you, since we had to have this conversation some day! Dad and mom met in a chat room on the net. I set up a meeting with your mom and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Café. Then, mom did some downloads from dad’s memorystick and when dad was ready to upload, we discovered that there was no“firewallâ€. Seeing that it was a bit too late to cancel, I just carried on doing the upload. Nine months later, the damn virus appeared. 2 friends were camping out one night, when all of the sudden one of them jumps up screaming, "A SNAKE JUST BIT ME ON THE TIP OF MY PENIS!!". The other friend said, "Don't worry, I am going to town to find a doctor, I will be right back!". So he goes to town, and finally finds a doctor. "Doctor!! My friend just got bit by a snake!!!" the friend says. "It's ok", the doctor says, "all you have to do is suck the poison out.". The friend says thank you, and runs back to the camp site. The injured friends asks, "WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY? WHAT DID HE SAY?" The other friend replies, "The doctor said you're going to die!" One day, Grumpy and the other six dwarves visited the Pope. Grumpy approached the great man while the other dwarves watched from a few feet away. “Pope,†Grumpy asks, “Are there any midget nuns in Rome?†“No,†the Pope replies, “there are no midget nuns in Rome.†The other six dwarves start giggling excitedly. Grumpy looks towards them angrily. “Are there any midget nuns in Italy?†Grumpy asks. “No,†the Pope says, “there are no midget nuns in Italy.†Again, the six dwarves giggle together. Grumpy begins to get angrier. “Are there any midget nuns in Europe?†“No,†the Pope responds, “there are no midget nuns in Europe.†The other dwarves’ laughter begins to get louder. Grumpy stares at them with frustration. “Pope, are there any midget nuns on Earth?†“No,†the Pope replies, “there are no midget nuns on Earth.†Then the six dwarves burst into laughter and fall on the ground, rolling around. They all chant together, “Grumpy shagged a penguin! Grumpy shagged a penguin!†When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a flower.†Harry and Fred were golfing one day. Harry hit the ball so hard that it unfortunately landed in a field of buttercups. Harry stomps into the buttercups, destroying every buttercup he steps on. When he finds his ball, Mother Nature appears. "I am Mother Nature!" she cries to Harry. "Do you know how long it too "I am Mother Nature!" she cries to Harry. "Do you know how long it took me to make these buttercups! You will never have butter on your toast ever again! You will never have butter on your popcorn ever again! In fact, for the rest of your life, you will never eat butter!" Mother Nature vanished with a poof and Harry disapointedly returned to their golf hole, but Fred was missing. "Fred!" Harry calls. "Fred, where are you!" Then Fred's voice replies, "I'm over here searching for my golf ball in this field of pussywillows!"
Jokes & Riddles - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I thought the mushroom had to leave because he wasn't a fun-gi (fun guy).
2 :
haha, funny, but the last one got cut off. :(
3 :
very good! have a star, but, uh, i think you ran out of room lol
Read more discussion :
- Irregular cycles....& enviornmental factors
- What's wrong with someone possessing alot of White...
- he is depressed i think...wat to do
- i think my fiance has depression
