my sister having power of attorney?
I found out about 2 weeks ago that my sister put my mom in a nursing home without telling me or my dad of this. She has mom's Power of Attorney. I phoned her to ask for mom's phone number at the nursing home , she said she would email it to me, but never did. I searched in internet and found the home my mom is in, but when I asked to talk to my mom they said to me "Im sorry maam but first we have to talk to your mom's Power of Attorney and then we will let you know if you can talk to her or not. This is very frustrating for me as I live in Italy and my mom, dad, and sister live in Canada. What are my rights? Weren't they supposed to advise me about my sister having become my mom's Power of Attorney? My sister also said that I was never welcomed there anymore and that I had abbandoned my family, which is not true, at the time I married and moved to Italy my mom and dad where very young and healthy and in no need of help. Please someone give me some answers because I dont know what to do anymore. A very complicated situation. Thank you in advance. I have always been present even if I am living in Italy. I have always been in contact with my family in Canada. This doesn't give my sister the power to do what she wants without telling me anything. I am not questioning what she did, I am only questioning that she should have advised me about it. So before calling me a miserable absent child i would suggest you know the whole story behind all of this, then we will see who you will be calling a miserable absent child. Measure your words before writing them down. Thank you . Thank you James
Law & Ethics - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
If she has power of attorney, she doesn't need to inform you of anything and has complete control of your mother. Every decision she makes, it's legally the same as if your mother herself made it.
2 :
You miserable absent child. You did not take the time to be more involved with your mom and NOW you want to participate. Shame on you.
3 :
The only way you could contest the POA is if your mother was not mentally sound when she signed the document, or your sister is abusing her powers as the POA. Nobody is required to tell you that your mother is about to sign a POA or already has. The nursing home may have not told your sister that you called and want to be allowed phone contact. Nursing homes are understaffed with caring for people physically present and would rather not spend time conveying messages for family members who aren't speaking. When you first moved, your mother may have been fine, but at some point, she declined and needed more and more care, which your sister provided while you were not around to notice. She resents you for this. Once your mother dies, the two of you will probably never reconcile this issue, so now would be the time to try. Keep emailing your sister. Keep calling the nursing home. You'll get to know the staff and they will recognize you as an interested party, eventually sharing info with you. Just don't use this info to lord over your sister, or the nursing home will shut down communications with you because it's more trouble than it's worth. Here's a way to get through to your mother: send lots of cards, all containing your name, address, phone number, and picture. Eventually, one will get through, giving your mother a means by which to contact you. She's bound to hold on to several of them. Things get all over the nursing home, so even if your sister finds some of the cards and takes them, chances are that the rest were taken by a confused resident and put in a plant, under the t.v., etc. Also send her flowers. They will deliver the flowers directly to your mother, who will naturally want to know who sent them- the staff won't think to withhold the tiny little card sticking out from the bouquet. You could also fly in and visit your mother.
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Friday, October 28, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
14th Century Italian costumes
14th Century Italian costumes?
What do they look like? What did counts and Ladies wear? A website would be nice. I'm doing a priject for Romeo and Juliet. I need to know what Romeo, Juliet, Mercutio, Price Escalus, Juliet's Nurse, Friar Lawrence, Lord Capulet, Lady Capulet, Lord Montague, and Lady Montague would wear in 14th Century Italy. Shakespear's actors wore differnet things. Answers by tonite please!
History - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
http://members.fortunecity.com/cadieuxx/14thcentury.html http://www.siue.edu/COSTUMES/COSTUME4_INDEX.HTML http://www.costumes.org/classes/fashiondress/latemedieval.htm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1300-1400_in_fashion http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1400-1500_in_fashion
2 :
Do a Google image search on Italian painters of the period, and you'll get lots of pictures of contemporary Italian dress.
Read more discussion :
What do they look like? What did counts and Ladies wear? A website would be nice. I'm doing a priject for Romeo and Juliet. I need to know what Romeo, Juliet, Mercutio, Price Escalus, Juliet's Nurse, Friar Lawrence, Lord Capulet, Lady Capulet, Lord Montague, and Lady Montague would wear in 14th Century Italy. Shakespear's actors wore differnet things. Answers by tonite please!
History - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
http://members.fortunecity.com/cadieuxx/14thcentury.html http://www.siue.edu/COSTUMES/COSTUME4_INDEX.HTML http://www.costumes.org/classes/fashiondress/latemedieval.htm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1300-1400_in_fashion http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1400-1500_in_fashion
2 :
Do a Google image search on Italian painters of the period, and you'll get lots of pictures of contemporary Italian dress.
Read more discussion :
Friday, October 7, 2011
Is this the correct forum in Italian that would mean the same thing in English
Is this the correct forum in Italian that would mean the same thing in English?
Italian Forum: Ciao, il mio nome è l'inseguimento di Julie. Sto cercando un lavoro come c'è ne di quanto segue: Posizione del responsabile del ~ in qualsiasi unità Pediatria del ~ Infermiera della scuola materna del ~ Donne del ~ ed infermiera appena nata Infermiera del ~ NICU ~ che insegna a OB ed o che nutrisce il laboratorio di abilità Ho una laurea nella formazione e la direzione e un BSN. Ho 15 anni di esperienza di professione d'infermiera. Sono disposto a funzionare il turno di notte o di giorno in tutto l'ospedale intorno a Roma o affatto dove altrimenti in Italia. Grazie molto per il vostro tempo. Speri di funzionare con voi presto. English Forum: Hello, my name is Julie Chase. I am looking for a job as any of the following: ~ Manager position in any unit ~ Pediatrics ~ Nursery Nurse ~ Women and New Born Nurse ~ NICU Nurse ~ Teaching OB and or Nursing Skills Lab!! I have a masters degree in Education and Leadership and a BSN. I have 15 years of nursing experience. I am willing to work day or night shift in any hospital around Rome or any where else in Italy. Thank you very much for your time. Hope to work with you soon. Thank you very much for your help. I'm glade you told me that this is not correct!
Languages - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
no, the italian is full of very strange mistakes, as if translated by google or some other piece of garbage online translator.
2 :
Buongiorno, il mio nome è Julie Chase. Sto cercando un lavoro qualsiasi tra i seguenti: Direttore di reparto ~ Pediatria ~ Infermiere (if male) Infermiera (if female) pediatrica ~ Infermiere (if male) Infermiera (if female) ginecologica o nido ~ NICU (anachronism for?) ~ insegnate OB (anachronism for ?) e/o infermiera di laboratorio Ho un diploma/ una laurea in Educazione e Direzione e un BSN (anachronism for ?). Ho 15 anni di esperienza come infermiera professionale. Sono disposto (if male)/disposta (female) a lavorare in turni diurni e notturni in qualsiasi ospedale della zona di Roma o d'Italia. Grazie per il vostro interessamento. Spero di poter lavorare presto con voi.
Read more discussion :
Italian Forum: Ciao, il mio nome è l'inseguimento di Julie. Sto cercando un lavoro come c'è ne di quanto segue: Posizione del responsabile del ~ in qualsiasi unità Pediatria del ~ Infermiera della scuola materna del ~ Donne del ~ ed infermiera appena nata Infermiera del ~ NICU ~ che insegna a OB ed o che nutrisce il laboratorio di abilità Ho una laurea nella formazione e la direzione e un BSN. Ho 15 anni di esperienza di professione d'infermiera. Sono disposto a funzionare il turno di notte o di giorno in tutto l'ospedale intorno a Roma o affatto dove altrimenti in Italia. Grazie molto per il vostro tempo. Speri di funzionare con voi presto. English Forum: Hello, my name is Julie Chase. I am looking for a job as any of the following: ~ Manager position in any unit ~ Pediatrics ~ Nursery Nurse ~ Women and New Born Nurse ~ NICU Nurse ~ Teaching OB and or Nursing Skills Lab!! I have a masters degree in Education and Leadership and a BSN. I have 15 years of nursing experience. I am willing to work day or night shift in any hospital around Rome or any where else in Italy. Thank you very much for your time. Hope to work with you soon. Thank you very much for your help. I'm glade you told me that this is not correct!
Languages - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
no, the italian is full of very strange mistakes, as if translated by google or some other piece of garbage online translator.
2 :
Buongiorno, il mio nome è Julie Chase. Sto cercando un lavoro qualsiasi tra i seguenti: Direttore di reparto ~ Pediatria ~ Infermiere (if male) Infermiera (if female) pediatrica ~ Infermiere (if male) Infermiera (if female) ginecologica o nido ~ NICU (anachronism for?) ~ insegnate OB (anachronism for ?) e/o infermiera di laboratorio Ho un diploma/ una laurea in Educazione e Direzione e un BSN (anachronism for ?). Ho 15 anni di esperienza come infermiera professionale. Sono disposto (if male)/disposta (female) a lavorare in turni diurni e notturni in qualsiasi ospedale della zona di Roma o d'Italia. Grazie per il vostro interessamento. Spero di poter lavorare presto con voi.
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Saturday, October 1, 2011
My boyfriend wants me to marry him, but I'm not ready
My boyfriend wants me to marry him, but I'm not ready!?
He and I have known each other for a very short period of time, and he gave me a promise ring before I left to go to Germany. I'm going to be here for the next two years, probably Turkey for 15 months, and then settling in Italy. He says now that we're engaged, and he's looking for diamond engagement rings, but I've told him that I'm not ready. I'm 19, and I want to get my degree in nursing and in art before anything drastic happens in my life. He's never met my parents, and he keeps thinking that I really don't want to get married because I want to wait. This makes no sense to me. I mean, shouldn't he want to wait? I don't want to have to split my attention between my future children and school, and I don't want to be financially unstable, so that's why I want to get education out of the way. I also am not ready for such a big commetment. He says that it's hard to trust me because everytime I raise the subject it's "one thing after another." Help!!
Marriage & Divorce - 46 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
If you're not ready, DON'T DO IT
2 :
Your 19 tell him to relax!
3 :
tell him exactly what you wrote. He can't read your mind so you just need to talk to him an explain why you want to wait. Good luck!
4 :
dont rush anything
5 :
Then don't get married...wow that wasn't hard to figure out.
6 :
Tell him to fuck off
7 :
This sounds like a failure, take your time, you are very young.
8 :
talk to him honestly about all your feelings,he should appreciate it.
9 :
Make sure you tell him and why. If he understand you then he love you and if he don't it is better for you to know now than then. Good luck.
10 :
well if he really loves u then he will wait till ur ready maybe her just thinks he is going to lose u becasue u are going to germany etc
11 :
he sounds odd...and it sounds like he is pressuring you for no reason...go with your gut...i say, you make him wait...your schooling is more important right now
12 :
You need to be BLUNT with him. Sometimes a guy doesnt understand, "Im not ready" whereas he might understand, I DO NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW! Just watch your words and make your point. Dont yell, dont get mad, just clarify for him that you are NOT going to get married. If he goes out and actually buys a ring for you, he is going to be devastated, so I suggest doing this as soon as possible.
13 :
Your right. Tell him to chill out. You might feel different in 3 months, 1 year, or 5 years but if you are not ready now than just say 'no'.
14 :
Send him a copy of your question. This guy sounds very insecure. Tell him that he doesn't get to decide that you are engaged; that you haven't accepted his proposal of marriage. A promise ring is not the real deal. You, on the other hand, sound like you are about to outgrow this guy. Tell him goodbye.
15 :
tell him the promise ring is enough for now. That after you get your education and stuff out of the way, and if your still going strong, then you might be ready to take the next step and get engaged. Don't let ANYONE pressure you. If he truly loves you, he'll want what's best for you and he'll respect your wishes. He may want to tie you down because he has nothing else going on in his life. Tell him to focus on himself.
16 :
Explain to him why you dont want to marry yet. Assure him of your love and faithfulness. If he truly loves you, he shoudl wait
17 :
Get out pen and paper and write the following. I do not want to marry you. Please do not contact me ever again. You are a stalker and probably unstable. Please seek professional help.
18 :
Don't get married, unless you are 100% sure of that is what you want. If you get married on a whim, or when you're not sure, then only disaster can result.
19 :
Stick to your guns! DO NOT let him pressure you into doing something you know you are not ready for! It may be difficult, but it will be much harder being married when you're not ready.
20 :
Well you r 19 plz take your time you have the rest of your life to settle down take it from me i was 20 when i got married never got to go college or anything take your time
21 :
Send him back his promise ring and get out of this Toxic insecure persons life while you can. Not sharing a common future plan is not sharing a common future life. Just get out now , you ll meet someone new.
22 :
You are way too young to marry, especially if you are not ready. As you travel the world your tastes will change. You may or may not wish to be with this person for the rest of your life after these experiences. If you are both truly in love he will wait and so will you. If not be kind and break it off now and give back the promise ring. Be nice and explain you are not yet ready. You can choose to be friends but I doubt he will accept that if he wants to marry. A clean break is much kinder.
23 :
Your boyfriend sounds like a controlling whackjob. If you aren't ready to get married, then don't get married. End of story. And yes, you should finish whatever degrees that you want to get first before you decide on anything else. First and foremost, it is YOUR life.
24 :
Just go for another one!
25 :
Have you told him that you want to have your schooling out of the way before getting married and starting a family? Tell him again and if he can't understand that it might be time to part ways because that is not respecting you or your wishes for the future.
26 :
19 are you ensane???? i was when i got married at 20!!! don't do it, wait until 30 at least, your 20's should be fun and not tied down with kids and hubby.
27 :
Tell your boyfriend that you want to wait after college to get married. Unless you keep changing the subject when he brings it up. Don't let him think different than what he thinks now or else he will think something really bad.
28 :
WHAT? He's trying to pressure you into marriage. I can keep my cool about some pretty fucked up things, but that's the fast track to joining the 50-some percent of Americans that end up getting divorced. Be very assertive, and tell him you're not comfortable with how he's pressuring you when he tries to do it again. Trust me, giving in will make it easier now, but so much harder in the future, and you're VERY young- I'm 18, and have enough friends my age or younger who have kids. No fun. Enjoy your youth, you only get it once.
29 :
The guy sounds pushy and incapable of accepting rejection. Once you go abroad, you can forget about him. Two years over there, focusing on your studies, preparing for your future, sounds like you've got your head on straight. Give him back his ring. Tell him there isn't nor ever was an engagement, and that he is just going to have to accept it.
30 :
It sounds like he is very insecure and there isn't much you can do about it. If you are not ready then tell him in no uncertain terms that you are not ready. Let him know that once you are in your last year of nursing that you would like him to "surprise" you with an engagement ring, but that you will say no anytime before then...and then stick to it. He will either have to deal with it or move on. You seem to have your head on straight...keep it that way! As a mom of three boys who is just finishing my BA now I have to say that I wish I would have done it before the kids. I still have a year and a half of grad school left!
31 :
I'm 23. I got married at 20 and divorced at 21. I dated for 5 years before getting married. I would not recommend getting married that young. Finish your college. If he's wanting to marry you that bad, he'll wait and if not, then he's probably desperate. College can take you a few years unmarried or many years married, I would say take a few years and get it done and out of the way so you can focus more on your career and family later.
32 :
You're far too young and sensible for marriage and if he's too immature to understand this, I strongly suggest you end things with him. He sounds far too intense and clingy, which will not be pleasant to live with. Send him on his way and live your dream. Good luck.
33 :
GIRL DONT GIVE IN, IF THAT IS HOW YOU FEEL THEN THATS HOW YOU FEEL, THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS TO LIVE WITH THE DECISIONS THAT YOU MAKE. FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND YOUR MIND. ITS GREAT THAT YOU BELIEVE THAT WAY. I WAS THE RETARD THAT RAN OFF AND GOT MARRIED, AND THOU I LEARNED ALOT. I KINDA WISHED I WOULDNT HAVE.
34 :
"...he keeps thinking that I really don't want to get married because I want to wait." Did you tell him that or does he just think that? Do not do anything you are not prepared for especially marriage. I know I don't have to tell you that but I am anyway. You will ruin both of your lives if the time is not right. You are 19. How old is he? If he is as young as you then he needs to do a bit more living to do (as do you) before he can figure out what he really wants in life. If he's not willing to wait then he needs to move on and get over you. Your experiences traveling alone will probably reinforce the sentiment that you don't want to settle down. He should try the same.
35 :
If you are not ready, you need to tell him to stop pressuring you. You are only 19. Don't do it just because that's what he wants, you will regret it. Why is he in such a big hurry anyway? I also believe that if this were the right guy, you wouldn't be worried about whether your degree or your marriage came first and if he cares enough about you, he will consider your feelings. Maybe he needs to move on, you are obviously at different points in your lives. Also, just because you get married while you are in school, doesn't mean that you have to have children right away, you can still wait on that. I would just give it a lot of thought. Is the possibility of losing this guy or finishing your education first more important to you? That's the ultimate question!
36 :
YOU CANT MARRY HIM. TELL HIM WHAT UP. IF YOU MARRY HIM YOU WILL BE UNHAPPY AND MAD ALL THE TIME. TELL HIM AGAIN I WANT TO BE MARRIED SOON. IF HE CANT WAIT ON YOU THEN HES NO THE ONE FOR.
37 :
It seems to me that you are the one that is ready to get married, not him. You know what you want and when. You have a plan, and you know what is needed to be married. On the other hand, he seems to be just in a hurry and acting a little immature. I can’t really be sure, but for the little things you wrote, it makes me think this way. Have a nice talk with him, and don’t say much, just ask him what are his plans, what is it that he wants to do after marrying you. Listen to his answers, and you will know if he is prepared or if he is just going crazy and trying to marry you in a hurry. If he has actually a plan, and understand what is involved when you get married and how you guys would be a new family and that you guys would have to take care of that family, then he might be ready, so you two just need to work it out, and figure out when it would be better to do this step. But if is as I suspect and he is not ready, then it is gonna be hard for you because you must explain what is going on and how much he needs to mature before he can really think of getting married. Chances are he is going to be mad and if he doesn’t grow up, he might even think of leaving you. But this is a risk you have to take anyways, and just do your best trying to letting him see reality. Hopefully he will understand and will calm down and start planning for something real. Good luck.
38 :
You need to take care of things YOU feel are important right now. If you're not ready and want get things "out of the way", then you need to do just that. I GUARANTEE, if you cave to the pressure you will second guess and regret for the rest of your life. Do what you need to do, then, when you have accomplished that, if marrying him is still an open option, address it then. And he obviously is not on the same track. If he does not want to wait, then maybe his desire to "married" is greater than his desire to be with you. If he is just looking to be married, and you're not ready, maybe he is not for you (or at least not for now). Just something to think about. But most of all, don't cave if you're not ready. Good Luck!!
39 :
Just sit him down and explain everything, let him know that pushing you is not the answer to the problem. When you get married you should be happy and willing. It is good that you want to establish yourself in a career before marriage. Tell him tha you want to make sure things are set and ok before going down that road. Especially seeing as children and travel take a lot of money. If he continues to push you have to really think about how life with this kind of person may be like, such as how will he be if I do not want kids right away, or if you want to live one place and he wants to be somewhere different. If he cannot take your feelings into consideration he is not totally caring about you. tell him that if he loaves you, then he can wait for you. People stay together long times without having to make it legal. And that is all it is. Tell him that you can make a promise to him and a commitment without the legality of it. My aunt and uncle have been together for 27 years and they are not married, they feel that when you marry and something goes wrong you immediately run out and get a divorce and that is expensive and stupid. Do what you feel is right and not what he thinks you should do. Good Luck : )
40 :
I think you should tell him that you love him but you're not ready 2 settle down yet and you want 2 achieve other goals in your life right now. And If he doesn't understand and wait till u are ready. Well he's not the 1 for U. Cuz if he loved u he would wait 4 u. P.S Don't rush in 2 anything if ur not ready!! I hope this is helpful 2 U.
41 :
then get rid of him if he cant respect what you want
42 :
Stick to your plans. You have a say in what happens in your life, and your feeling is that you want to wait. Don't let anyone pressure you into something that doesn't feel quite right. He sounds desperate, and it's not a good thing. Take your time, and things will sort themselves out; if he decides to leave you because you have your own head on your shoulders, then I'd say good riddance. You have plenty of time to pursue your dreams, don't let anyone cheat you out of any of them.
43 :
You don't have to make excuses, "I'm not ready to talk about marriage" should suffice. If it doesn't, he could be too controlling, and you don't need THAT for sure. Don't get married just because you feel pressured to do so. Just because he's ready, doesn't mean you should be. This may not be the guy for you. If he's not willing to give you your space, then you may just need to move on. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life anyway.
44 :
Why does getting married automatically equal children?? If you're having sex now, you can still have a baby and be forced with the predicament where you have divide your attention between school and a family. So you putting not being ready for children as your reason to not want to get married right now, is bull. I say its bull because none of the fears you have about getting married, would stop you from fulfilling your goals. You want to prioritize and your career goals rank higher on the list than your relationship and PREFER to complete school before getting married. There is nothing wrong with that. By the way, how can he tell you that you're engaged? That's not something you're informed of. It's mutually decided and then plans start being made. A promise ring is not an engagement ring. Also, his time table doesn't have to yours. It should not suprise you that you two are two different places regarding your relationship. I can understand you not wanting the commitment of a relationship, with you wanting to study abroad. I know you probably love your boyfriend but but if he doesn't support your goals, you're wasting your time with him. Not to mention, I assume you guys are around the same age, has he mentioned any kind of goals that he wants to pursue? Does he have a job? If not, you don't want to marry him anyway. He'll just slow you down.
45 :
show him a copy of your e- mail and ask him to understand.
46 :
I think you are right on target. Don't marry him. Your whole life is in front of you. Bet he is not educated himself. My husband and I are both professionals. Even with good jobs you may struggle to educate your children Ours are grown, both have a good education. There were times we struggled to be sure they had what we felt they needed. I can't imagine what uneducated people even talk about in their older years. or how they support a family in these times.
47 :
If you are not ready to get married don't do it, Sit him down and explain to him that you love and you want to be with him but you are not ready "YET" for that big step.. He is going to be hurt for awhile but then he will calm down.. Also let him know that when you are ready you will let him know. Good Luck
Read more discussion :
He and I have known each other for a very short period of time, and he gave me a promise ring before I left to go to Germany. I'm going to be here for the next two years, probably Turkey for 15 months, and then settling in Italy. He says now that we're engaged, and he's looking for diamond engagement rings, but I've told him that I'm not ready. I'm 19, and I want to get my degree in nursing and in art before anything drastic happens in my life. He's never met my parents, and he keeps thinking that I really don't want to get married because I want to wait. This makes no sense to me. I mean, shouldn't he want to wait? I don't want to have to split my attention between my future children and school, and I don't want to be financially unstable, so that's why I want to get education out of the way. I also am not ready for such a big commetment. He says that it's hard to trust me because everytime I raise the subject it's "one thing after another." Help!!
Marriage & Divorce - 46 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
If you're not ready, DON'T DO IT
2 :
Your 19 tell him to relax!
3 :
tell him exactly what you wrote. He can't read your mind so you just need to talk to him an explain why you want to wait. Good luck!
4 :
dont rush anything
5 :
Then don't get married...wow that wasn't hard to figure out.
6 :
Tell him to fuck off
7 :
This sounds like a failure, take your time, you are very young.
8 :
talk to him honestly about all your feelings,he should appreciate it.
9 :
Make sure you tell him and why. If he understand you then he love you and if he don't it is better for you to know now than then. Good luck.
10 :
well if he really loves u then he will wait till ur ready maybe her just thinks he is going to lose u becasue u are going to germany etc
11 :
he sounds odd...and it sounds like he is pressuring you for no reason...go with your gut...i say, you make him wait...your schooling is more important right now
12 :
You need to be BLUNT with him. Sometimes a guy doesnt understand, "Im not ready" whereas he might understand, I DO NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW! Just watch your words and make your point. Dont yell, dont get mad, just clarify for him that you are NOT going to get married. If he goes out and actually buys a ring for you, he is going to be devastated, so I suggest doing this as soon as possible.
13 :
Your right. Tell him to chill out. You might feel different in 3 months, 1 year, or 5 years but if you are not ready now than just say 'no'.
14 :
Send him a copy of your question. This guy sounds very insecure. Tell him that he doesn't get to decide that you are engaged; that you haven't accepted his proposal of marriage. A promise ring is not the real deal. You, on the other hand, sound like you are about to outgrow this guy. Tell him goodbye.
15 :
tell him the promise ring is enough for now. That after you get your education and stuff out of the way, and if your still going strong, then you might be ready to take the next step and get engaged. Don't let ANYONE pressure you. If he truly loves you, he'll want what's best for you and he'll respect your wishes. He may want to tie you down because he has nothing else going on in his life. Tell him to focus on himself.
16 :
Explain to him why you dont want to marry yet. Assure him of your love and faithfulness. If he truly loves you, he shoudl wait
17 :
Get out pen and paper and write the following. I do not want to marry you. Please do not contact me ever again. You are a stalker and probably unstable. Please seek professional help.
18 :
Don't get married, unless you are 100% sure of that is what you want. If you get married on a whim, or when you're not sure, then only disaster can result.
19 :
Stick to your guns! DO NOT let him pressure you into doing something you know you are not ready for! It may be difficult, but it will be much harder being married when you're not ready.
20 :
Well you r 19 plz take your time you have the rest of your life to settle down take it from me i was 20 when i got married never got to go college or anything take your time
21 :
Send him back his promise ring and get out of this Toxic insecure persons life while you can. Not sharing a common future plan is not sharing a common future life. Just get out now , you ll meet someone new.
22 :
You are way too young to marry, especially if you are not ready. As you travel the world your tastes will change. You may or may not wish to be with this person for the rest of your life after these experiences. If you are both truly in love he will wait and so will you. If not be kind and break it off now and give back the promise ring. Be nice and explain you are not yet ready. You can choose to be friends but I doubt he will accept that if he wants to marry. A clean break is much kinder.
23 :
Your boyfriend sounds like a controlling whackjob. If you aren't ready to get married, then don't get married. End of story. And yes, you should finish whatever degrees that you want to get first before you decide on anything else. First and foremost, it is YOUR life.
24 :
Just go for another one!
25 :
Have you told him that you want to have your schooling out of the way before getting married and starting a family? Tell him again and if he can't understand that it might be time to part ways because that is not respecting you or your wishes for the future.
26 :
19 are you ensane???? i was when i got married at 20!!! don't do it, wait until 30 at least, your 20's should be fun and not tied down with kids and hubby.
27 :
Tell your boyfriend that you want to wait after college to get married. Unless you keep changing the subject when he brings it up. Don't let him think different than what he thinks now or else he will think something really bad.
28 :
WHAT? He's trying to pressure you into marriage. I can keep my cool about some pretty fucked up things, but that's the fast track to joining the 50-some percent of Americans that end up getting divorced. Be very assertive, and tell him you're not comfortable with how he's pressuring you when he tries to do it again. Trust me, giving in will make it easier now, but so much harder in the future, and you're VERY young- I'm 18, and have enough friends my age or younger who have kids. No fun. Enjoy your youth, you only get it once.
29 :
The guy sounds pushy and incapable of accepting rejection. Once you go abroad, you can forget about him. Two years over there, focusing on your studies, preparing for your future, sounds like you've got your head on straight. Give him back his ring. Tell him there isn't nor ever was an engagement, and that he is just going to have to accept it.
30 :
It sounds like he is very insecure and there isn't much you can do about it. If you are not ready then tell him in no uncertain terms that you are not ready. Let him know that once you are in your last year of nursing that you would like him to "surprise" you with an engagement ring, but that you will say no anytime before then...and then stick to it. He will either have to deal with it or move on. You seem to have your head on straight...keep it that way! As a mom of three boys who is just finishing my BA now I have to say that I wish I would have done it before the kids. I still have a year and a half of grad school left!
31 :
I'm 23. I got married at 20 and divorced at 21. I dated for 5 years before getting married. I would not recommend getting married that young. Finish your college. If he's wanting to marry you that bad, he'll wait and if not, then he's probably desperate. College can take you a few years unmarried or many years married, I would say take a few years and get it done and out of the way so you can focus more on your career and family later.
32 :
You're far too young and sensible for marriage and if he's too immature to understand this, I strongly suggest you end things with him. He sounds far too intense and clingy, which will not be pleasant to live with. Send him on his way and live your dream. Good luck.
33 :
GIRL DONT GIVE IN, IF THAT IS HOW YOU FEEL THEN THATS HOW YOU FEEL, THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS TO LIVE WITH THE DECISIONS THAT YOU MAKE. FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND YOUR MIND. ITS GREAT THAT YOU BELIEVE THAT WAY. I WAS THE RETARD THAT RAN OFF AND GOT MARRIED, AND THOU I LEARNED ALOT. I KINDA WISHED I WOULDNT HAVE.
34 :
"...he keeps thinking that I really don't want to get married because I want to wait." Did you tell him that or does he just think that? Do not do anything you are not prepared for especially marriage. I know I don't have to tell you that but I am anyway. You will ruin both of your lives if the time is not right. You are 19. How old is he? If he is as young as you then he needs to do a bit more living to do (as do you) before he can figure out what he really wants in life. If he's not willing to wait then he needs to move on and get over you. Your experiences traveling alone will probably reinforce the sentiment that you don't want to settle down. He should try the same.
35 :
If you are not ready, you need to tell him to stop pressuring you. You are only 19. Don't do it just because that's what he wants, you will regret it. Why is he in such a big hurry anyway? I also believe that if this were the right guy, you wouldn't be worried about whether your degree or your marriage came first and if he cares enough about you, he will consider your feelings. Maybe he needs to move on, you are obviously at different points in your lives. Also, just because you get married while you are in school, doesn't mean that you have to have children right away, you can still wait on that. I would just give it a lot of thought. Is the possibility of losing this guy or finishing your education first more important to you? That's the ultimate question!
36 :
YOU CANT MARRY HIM. TELL HIM WHAT UP. IF YOU MARRY HIM YOU WILL BE UNHAPPY AND MAD ALL THE TIME. TELL HIM AGAIN I WANT TO BE MARRIED SOON. IF HE CANT WAIT ON YOU THEN HES NO THE ONE FOR.
37 :
It seems to me that you are the one that is ready to get married, not him. You know what you want and when. You have a plan, and you know what is needed to be married. On the other hand, he seems to be just in a hurry and acting a little immature. I can’t really be sure, but for the little things you wrote, it makes me think this way. Have a nice talk with him, and don’t say much, just ask him what are his plans, what is it that he wants to do after marrying you. Listen to his answers, and you will know if he is prepared or if he is just going crazy and trying to marry you in a hurry. If he has actually a plan, and understand what is involved when you get married and how you guys would be a new family and that you guys would have to take care of that family, then he might be ready, so you two just need to work it out, and figure out when it would be better to do this step. But if is as I suspect and he is not ready, then it is gonna be hard for you because you must explain what is going on and how much he needs to mature before he can really think of getting married. Chances are he is going to be mad and if he doesn’t grow up, he might even think of leaving you. But this is a risk you have to take anyways, and just do your best trying to letting him see reality. Hopefully he will understand and will calm down and start planning for something real. Good luck.
38 :
You need to take care of things YOU feel are important right now. If you're not ready and want get things "out of the way", then you need to do just that. I GUARANTEE, if you cave to the pressure you will second guess and regret for the rest of your life. Do what you need to do, then, when you have accomplished that, if marrying him is still an open option, address it then. And he obviously is not on the same track. If he does not want to wait, then maybe his desire to "married" is greater than his desire to be with you. If he is just looking to be married, and you're not ready, maybe he is not for you (or at least not for now). Just something to think about. But most of all, don't cave if you're not ready. Good Luck!!
39 :
Just sit him down and explain everything, let him know that pushing you is not the answer to the problem. When you get married you should be happy and willing. It is good that you want to establish yourself in a career before marriage. Tell him tha you want to make sure things are set and ok before going down that road. Especially seeing as children and travel take a lot of money. If he continues to push you have to really think about how life with this kind of person may be like, such as how will he be if I do not want kids right away, or if you want to live one place and he wants to be somewhere different. If he cannot take your feelings into consideration he is not totally caring about you. tell him that if he loaves you, then he can wait for you. People stay together long times without having to make it legal. And that is all it is. Tell him that you can make a promise to him and a commitment without the legality of it. My aunt and uncle have been together for 27 years and they are not married, they feel that when you marry and something goes wrong you immediately run out and get a divorce and that is expensive and stupid. Do what you feel is right and not what he thinks you should do. Good Luck : )
40 :
I think you should tell him that you love him but you're not ready 2 settle down yet and you want 2 achieve other goals in your life right now. And If he doesn't understand and wait till u are ready. Well he's not the 1 for U. Cuz if he loved u he would wait 4 u. P.S Don't rush in 2 anything if ur not ready!! I hope this is helpful 2 U.
41 :
then get rid of him if he cant respect what you want
42 :
Stick to your plans. You have a say in what happens in your life, and your feeling is that you want to wait. Don't let anyone pressure you into something that doesn't feel quite right. He sounds desperate, and it's not a good thing. Take your time, and things will sort themselves out; if he decides to leave you because you have your own head on your shoulders, then I'd say good riddance. You have plenty of time to pursue your dreams, don't let anyone cheat you out of any of them.
43 :
You don't have to make excuses, "I'm not ready to talk about marriage" should suffice. If it doesn't, he could be too controlling, and you don't need THAT for sure. Don't get married just because you feel pressured to do so. Just because he's ready, doesn't mean you should be. This may not be the guy for you. If he's not willing to give you your space, then you may just need to move on. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life anyway.
44 :
Why does getting married automatically equal children?? If you're having sex now, you can still have a baby and be forced with the predicament where you have divide your attention between school and a family. So you putting not being ready for children as your reason to not want to get married right now, is bull. I say its bull because none of the fears you have about getting married, would stop you from fulfilling your goals. You want to prioritize and your career goals rank higher on the list than your relationship and PREFER to complete school before getting married. There is nothing wrong with that. By the way, how can he tell you that you're engaged? That's not something you're informed of. It's mutually decided and then plans start being made. A promise ring is not an engagement ring. Also, his time table doesn't have to yours. It should not suprise you that you two are two different places regarding your relationship. I can understand you not wanting the commitment of a relationship, with you wanting to study abroad. I know you probably love your boyfriend but but if he doesn't support your goals, you're wasting your time with him. Not to mention, I assume you guys are around the same age, has he mentioned any kind of goals that he wants to pursue? Does he have a job? If not, you don't want to marry him anyway. He'll just slow you down.
45 :
show him a copy of your e- mail and ask him to understand.
46 :
I think you are right on target. Don't marry him. Your whole life is in front of you. Bet he is not educated himself. My husband and I are both professionals. Even with good jobs you may struggle to educate your children Ours are grown, both have a good education. There were times we struggled to be sure they had what we felt they needed. I can't imagine what uneducated people even talk about in their older years. or how they support a family in these times.
47 :
If you are not ready to get married don't do it, Sit him down and explain to him that you love and you want to be with him but you are not ready "YET" for that big step.. He is going to be hurt for awhile but then he will calm down.. Also let him know that when you are ready you will let him know. Good Luck
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