I want to be with him; but I know education is important?
Hey guys! so im at a crossroads in my life I want to follow my heart over my head, but it's hard anyways Im inlove with my boyfriend of a year and a half. We're perfect for eachother, it's hard to explain, but people always tells us that they can tell we're inlove without us even saying anything. He's in the United States Air Force so He's stationed allover the place. Right now he's in Italy and in February he'll be stationed in New Mexico. I'm so happy about that, he'll be so much closer. He asked me when I graduate from high school this year to move in with him when he's stateside. So I'm going to, I really want to. Now the thing is, I made a terrible mistake last year, I got really depressed. My brother was killed in Afghanistan by a mistake caused by the US Military and so I barely did my school work and I ended up only getting 1 credit instead of 8 [in Canada its 1 credit per course, you need 8 per school year except for grade 12 you can take 6 or 7]. So that pushed me back a year basically. If I was to move in with him, I'll continue my education to get my OSSD [Ontario Secondary School Diploma] through online school. But once I get my diploma, I know university is important. Anyways, After I get my diploma should I go to university wherever he's stationed? We are going to be getting married, but we just want to live with eachother for a couple months you know? What should I do? I would love to be a nurse, but I don't know whether I should or if I should just be a stay at home wife and eventually a mom. What do you think? thanks ella sorry this is so long Merry Christmas :)
Singles & Dating - 9 Answers
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1 :
Do more for yourself so you won't regret later. If you want to do college, you can check out ones around his duty station and ones offered on base.
2 :
I am an Indian Girl and live in India.Let me tell you the importance of being self dependant.In western world where marriages break even if some one snores, it is really important for you to study so that eventually you can earn something for your living.I belong to a very orthodox family but my parents made sure I studied and today when I am a Software Engineer .They are rest assured that even if the guy that they choose for me cheats me or i get divorced i will lead a comfortable life and not dependent on my parents, brother or anyone.So please please study cozzz what you are feeling right now for the guy will not be the same sugar coated after a while..so please study.
3 :
go for nursing so you'll always have a way to support yourself. life is unpredictable and you never know where you will end up- its better to be prepared than plan on coasting through life on the dependence of others. getting a "MRS" degree is of the past, and what if you become (and i'm hoping not) a single mom with no education...? isn't that a huge risk, considering you could totally have prevented it all? the fact that you have doubts about this tells me that you're smart. and young. i'm in my 4th year of school pursuing a doctorate. trust me, having my own income and independence is worth the wait!
4 :
i wouldn't tell you not to get married if you're sure that's what you really really want but please continue your education. you can do both ya know........ it's so unsatisfying to be a stay at home wife and mom and dependent on someone else. most marriages end in divorce anyway and then you're screwed if you can't support yourself.
5 :
i can understand your hardship. for one thing i tell all my lady friends to be independant but choose to be dependants. have a fall back plan incase ANYTHING happens. marriages fail all the time, unfortunetly, but if u want to be a nurse u can go to a technical skewl and survive that way. my mother did her skewl nursing threw a "tech" skewl and makes very good money. that will help ur bf/husband-to-be with bills and u can have money to spend of ur own. you should be able to support yourself if ever the time where to come. my gf is in the US Air Force and shes in mississippi while im in California, and its hard but in roughly a year we plan on moving to russia. it will be important to have enough money for emergencies and luxuries. i can do my job (HAZMAT) and she is goin to be stationed there. so i understand your logic. finish high skewl first girl, than do online or walk-in tech skewl and be your bf/h-t-b will appreciate the help. i hope things work out the best for you both. :)
6 :
you are young! first off, you should never aspire to be a stay-at-home mother, especially when you have dreams of being a nurse. don't give up your goals, and self-sufficiency for a guy...it doesn't matter if you love him or not. if he really loves you, he will tell you to finish your schooling. you can even finish while with him; there are online colleges and universities everywhere, so moving to be with him isn't an excuse to quit school.
7 :
Dear Ella, School, school, school! Get your OSSD (or the US equivalent, the GED-- find out which would be easier), and then go to school wherever you're stationed. [I don't encourage your living together first, for a number of reasons-- my faith-based ones, plus statistically, it's shown that it doesn't improve the chances of a marriage working out, and-- and for you this is important-- the US military treats married and single personnel differently. If you are married, then he can automatically live off base (and be paid for it), rather than having a room in the barracks and paying out of pocket for anything else, he will get paid more for having you as a legal dependent, and it may make it much cheaper for you to go to school in the States, since you'll be a foreign national. Many states allow military and their dependents to pay "in-state" tuition, rather than the much higher out-of-state version.] Nursing is the perfect field for a military spouse, because in the current economy nurses are one of the few fields remaining open, and nurses' licenses are normally easily transferable betwen states. You may be able to take classes on the airbase, if you're marrried to him. If not, I would encourage you to look at a Community College program first-- there are a lot of programs that will let you get your LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse or Licensed Professional Nurse, depending on the state) at the two-year school, which will then give you work possibilities to help pay for the last two years of college for your BSN/RN. You don't want to be an RN-- a registered nurse-- without your BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing)-- it means that most hospital jobs are dead-end with no chances of promotion, and more and more hospitals won't even look at an RN without her degree. You are young enough that you can get your degree and still have plenty of time to have children-- I've had way too much experience with young women who decided to have the kids first, and ended up putting off the degree for years... and who were very unhappy about that choice. You could easily have your BSN by your mid-20s-- still lots of time to have children, and more financial security, too. Good luck-- I remember the 'friendly fire incident' (there's no such thing as "friendly fire") when the Canadian forces were attacked and killed by the US military, and was horrified and saddened by it. Even more so, now that I've been corresponding with you-- it's become more personal.
8 :
Unless he is E5 or above he will not be allowed to live off base and get housing allowance. Normally it is E5 and higher or E4 with more than 4 years in. If he is E4 they might allow him to do it but it does depend on the command and the amount of room there is in the barracks. If you are go to move to the US from Canada you are allowed to be there for 6 months without a problem, but after that you are considered illegal alien. In order to get a Green Card/Alien Resident Card you need to either be married and he is your sponsor or have a job and the company is your sponsor. Even then it is a Conditional card and only lasts for 2 years. After that you have to file for Permanent Residency. Right now the amount to start the paperwork to get one is around $1200 US, you will have to do a medical screening (including a TB xray), interviews, etc... You will also have to declare yourself a Non resident of Canada. Meaning you no longer pay taxes, you no longer qualify for medical, dental, you cannot stay in school, etc.. The only thing you keep is your citizenship and your passport. The only way around this would be if you had a scholarship to a college down there. The military will not help you in any way do the paperwork, find a college, etc... You are on your own especially if you are not married. You will also have limited base access. If you are married the military will still not pay for your college, you can use the colleges on base but you will still have to pay for it and they can be expensive. To be honest it is cheaper to go to college in Canada than it is in the US. So if anything you should be considering staying in Canada and at least get some of the courses out of the way and see if they will transfer. The education system for nurses in the US is different than in Canada. You will also have to find out if the colleges in the US will accept the OSSD or not. Some may not. If this relationship is going to work then he would be understanding in this situation. You need to seriously think about what is best for you education wise if for some reason this relationship doesn't work out. I would hate for you to move all the way down there and you find out it will not work.
9 :
hey girl..first off all sorry about your brother<3 Do as much as you can now!! I did 2 years of college and got my associates and moved in with my Marine. i got a good job to help us pay bills which was def a good move. if i didnt have this degree under my belt i wouldnt have gotten this job and things might be a lot harder for us right now. I took online classes for a while just to keep myself into school and have something to keep focused on since i was so far away from my family! we havent been relocated yet and its been a few years so i started nursing school here where he is stationed. the most important thing to do is go to an accredited school so if you do have to pick up and move you can most likely transfer your credits to another accredited school somewhere else. a lot of places are pretty understanding about it too. anyway what im trying to say is go to school now!! it would be great to be a stay at home mom and stuff but if you decide you want a career of your own, you dont wana have to go back after being out of school for 10 years you know? ok sorry this is so long lol email me if you wana talk about it more! good luck!
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